Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Finish the Race - November 2005
“Finish the Race”
On the 15th of November I was scheduled to head back to San Antonio from El Paso. The drive is about 550 miles and I was getting a late start. I decided to head out toward the Guadalupe Mountains which is only a 2 hour drive, climb the highest point in Texas (Guadalupe Peak), then head to San Antonio, getting in real late. I love to get away into the Wilderness and the views from the heights are always breath taking. My first experiences with God were in the wilderness and I always use the time to reflect and have communion with Him. The sermons I’ve preached in my head while hiking are really pretty good, you should hear them sometime! Maybe you will. I was encouraged when it was pointed out how Jesus himself would retreat to Mountainsides and lonely places to pray. (Matthew 14:23, Luke 6:12). Indeed it was a high Mountain in Israel (I believe to be Mount Hermon) that he was transfigured before Peter, John, and James. (Matthew 17 & Mark 9). Getting away from the busyness of life and the crowds always refreshes my communication with the Lord and fills my heart with a renewed peace and joy. This time was no different and the sense of accomplishing one of my desires in climbing the highest point in Texas had me on a spiritual high. Once back in my car, I was ready to either head back to San Antonio (8 hour drive) or back to El Paso and make the trip back to San Antonio the next day. I decided the easier route and headed back to El Paso to spend another night at my friend Scott’s house; getting an early jump in the morning to head back. Once getting back my friend Scott's, who had a dinner engagement for work to go to, so I was on my own for dinner. I ended up spending about 6 hours in front of the TV, flipping though the channels filling my mind with meaningless junk and ending the evening watching a movie “National Treasure”. There is something about TV that seems to suck all the life out of me, especially with that hypnotic gaze that accompanies “vegging out” in front of the TV with the remote in your hand wondering why everything on TV sucks, but you sit there and flip through the channels anyway. So after communing with God for the day, refreshing my Spirit and heart, I come down and immediately waste my entire evening filling my mind with junk. So instead of looking forward to a rested night sleep, being content and satisfied in who I am in the Lord, I feel as if I just washed in the mud, bathed in the filth and emptiness of this world and go to bed rather restless with the a sense of emptiness.
Awaking the next day (November 16th) and getting on my way, the emptiness and confusion hasn’t left. My morning prayers are stale and more a ritual than relationship. I start to doubt and look at my life for where it is rather than where it is going and who is leading me. I look at the money I spent for the trip. Money on golf, eating out, rental car, gas, etc. I wonder if it wasn’t just a big mistake to even go on my little vacation. I could be home making at least a little money delivering Pizza. I know my bills are piling up. Medical bills from my eye infection and liver tests I had done. I need heating oil. IRS debt still looming over my head, another $200.00 due by the 28th. Truck could use ball joints and alignment, transmission work. I have no real job other than Pizza delivery and even that could be gone if I get another ticket, (I got 2 speeding tickets in the past 2 months, 3 in a year and you lose your license in Massachusetts). 36 years old, Single, no lucrative work other than what I could get to survive for the past 2 years. No real hope on the horizon for any work other than the mundane work of the Post Office or Pizza delivery and even that is not guaranteed. Bills, uncertainty, confusion, what the hell is going on? God what are doing with me? When does this end? Father, will you lead me out of this darkness in the valley of the shadow of death? Is this discipline for past sins or am I being tested to know who I really am in you without all the social status (high paying job, travel, good car, money to spend, decent golfer, knowledgeable Bible teacher, nice apartment, etc.) that I used to take for granted and even hide behind. Can I be content in You and nothing else? Can I trust you when it all seems hopeless?
As with so much in life, God speaks to me from an unsuspecting place. I’m listening to the Glen Beck radio program on AM radio. I like him, he seems straightforward and honest. Even refers to the Bible now and then. He starts speaking about Thanksgiving and what he’s thankful for. He begins a story about his daughter. She is a senior in High School and is captain of the Cross country team. The team just finished the best season they ever had at the school and were receiving their rewards. By now I am thinking “OK, here we go, radio personality, making all kinds of money, has this beautiful daughter, very athletic, probably the valedictorian of her class, cheerleader, most popular girl in school, probably the homecoming queen as well, now he’s going to brag about how great a family God has blessed him with”. (How wrong my assumptions can be amaze me sometimes). Then he mentions how she came in dead last in every race. Then he mentions that she has cerebral palsy. I now feel like a worm for my assumptions and the tears start to flow. He goes on to pour out his heart on the radio and how when she first tried out for the Cross Country team the coach didn’t even believe she could finish. But she did! She finished every race she entered, she always finished last but she always finished. Glen was amazed how she was the most encouraging person he’s ever met. She pushed everyone on the team to be better than they thought they could be and together they became the best the school had ever known.
“Finish the race, Michael, keep going…”
“Finish the race!”
How many times have I wanted to quit and just say “f&%$ it! This is going nowhere.” “I’ll never get it right.” I keep screwing up, I keep falling on my face. How long will you put up with me.
But what is the truth. “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5,
I am forgiven - 1 John 1:9 God is my Father. - Romans 8:15
And when we have finished the race, my Father will tell about his children and how they pushed others to keep going, taught them never to quit, and that you can be more than you ever believed you could be.
The race we are in is long, there are many traps, pitfalls, and snares. And rarely are things as they seem to be. We have an enemy willing to stop at nothing to get us to quit and to give up. He tells us we’ve fallen to far or too many times or that we can’t do it. The mountain is too high, we are too weak, the enemy is too powerful. Keep going, don’t quit, with God all things are possible. Rescue the wounded, heal the sick, speak the truth, carry one another’s burdens, forgive as you have been forgiven, slay the giant, take possession of what has been given you, finish the race…
Do I know 100% in my heart that I can be content in Jesus and nothing else? If I don’t finish I’ll never know. Can I trust him when all seems hopeless? If I quit I’ll never find out. Thank you for telling me what I need to hear, I will keep going…
*** Relevant Scripture Below…
Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.
(1Co 9:24-27)
As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
(2Ti 4:5-8)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.
(Heb 12:1-13)
for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.
(Pro 24:16)
Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
(Mat 18:21-22)
You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?
(Gal 5:7)
Finish the Race, the best is yet to come…
Michael
On the 15th of November I was scheduled to head back to San Antonio from El Paso. The drive is about 550 miles and I was getting a late start. I decided to head out toward the Guadalupe Mountains which is only a 2 hour drive, climb the highest point in Texas (Guadalupe Peak), then head to San Antonio, getting in real late. I love to get away into the Wilderness and the views from the heights are always breath taking. My first experiences with God were in the wilderness and I always use the time to reflect and have communion with Him. The sermons I’ve preached in my head while hiking are really pretty good, you should hear them sometime! Maybe you will. I was encouraged when it was pointed out how Jesus himself would retreat to Mountainsides and lonely places to pray. (Matthew 14:23, Luke 6:12). Indeed it was a high Mountain in Israel (I believe to be Mount Hermon) that he was transfigured before Peter, John, and James. (Matthew 17 & Mark 9). Getting away from the busyness of life and the crowds always refreshes my communication with the Lord and fills my heart with a renewed peace and joy. This time was no different and the sense of accomplishing one of my desires in climbing the highest point in Texas had me on a spiritual high. Once back in my car, I was ready to either head back to San Antonio (8 hour drive) or back to El Paso and make the trip back to San Antonio the next day. I decided the easier route and headed back to El Paso to spend another night at my friend Scott’s house; getting an early jump in the morning to head back. Once getting back my friend Scott's, who had a dinner engagement for work to go to, so I was on my own for dinner. I ended up spending about 6 hours in front of the TV, flipping though the channels filling my mind with meaningless junk and ending the evening watching a movie “National Treasure”. There is something about TV that seems to suck all the life out of me, especially with that hypnotic gaze that accompanies “vegging out” in front of the TV with the remote in your hand wondering why everything on TV sucks, but you sit there and flip through the channels anyway. So after communing with God for the day, refreshing my Spirit and heart, I come down and immediately waste my entire evening filling my mind with junk. So instead of looking forward to a rested night sleep, being content and satisfied in who I am in the Lord, I feel as if I just washed in the mud, bathed in the filth and emptiness of this world and go to bed rather restless with the a sense of emptiness.
Awaking the next day (November 16th) and getting on my way, the emptiness and confusion hasn’t left. My morning prayers are stale and more a ritual than relationship. I start to doubt and look at my life for where it is rather than where it is going and who is leading me. I look at the money I spent for the trip. Money on golf, eating out, rental car, gas, etc. I wonder if it wasn’t just a big mistake to even go on my little vacation. I could be home making at least a little money delivering Pizza. I know my bills are piling up. Medical bills from my eye infection and liver tests I had done. I need heating oil. IRS debt still looming over my head, another $200.00 due by the 28th. Truck could use ball joints and alignment, transmission work. I have no real job other than Pizza delivery and even that could be gone if I get another ticket, (I got 2 speeding tickets in the past 2 months, 3 in a year and you lose your license in Massachusetts). 36 years old, Single, no lucrative work other than what I could get to survive for the past 2 years. No real hope on the horizon for any work other than the mundane work of the Post Office or Pizza delivery and even that is not guaranteed. Bills, uncertainty, confusion, what the hell is going on? God what are doing with me? When does this end? Father, will you lead me out of this darkness in the valley of the shadow of death? Is this discipline for past sins or am I being tested to know who I really am in you without all the social status (high paying job, travel, good car, money to spend, decent golfer, knowledgeable Bible teacher, nice apartment, etc.) that I used to take for granted and even hide behind. Can I be content in You and nothing else? Can I trust you when it all seems hopeless?
As with so much in life, God speaks to me from an unsuspecting place. I’m listening to the Glen Beck radio program on AM radio. I like him, he seems straightforward and honest. Even refers to the Bible now and then. He starts speaking about Thanksgiving and what he’s thankful for. He begins a story about his daughter. She is a senior in High School and is captain of the Cross country team. The team just finished the best season they ever had at the school and were receiving their rewards. By now I am thinking “OK, here we go, radio personality, making all kinds of money, has this beautiful daughter, very athletic, probably the valedictorian of her class, cheerleader, most popular girl in school, probably the homecoming queen as well, now he’s going to brag about how great a family God has blessed him with”. (How wrong my assumptions can be amaze me sometimes). Then he mentions how she came in dead last in every race. Then he mentions that she has cerebral palsy. I now feel like a worm for my assumptions and the tears start to flow. He goes on to pour out his heart on the radio and how when she first tried out for the Cross Country team the coach didn’t even believe she could finish. But she did! She finished every race she entered, she always finished last but she always finished. Glen was amazed how she was the most encouraging person he’s ever met. She pushed everyone on the team to be better than they thought they could be and together they became the best the school had ever known.
“Finish the race, Michael, keep going…”
“Finish the race!”
How many times have I wanted to quit and just say “f&%$ it! This is going nowhere.” “I’ll never get it right.” I keep screwing up, I keep falling on my face. How long will you put up with me.
But what is the truth. “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5,
I am forgiven - 1 John 1:9 God is my Father. - Romans 8:15
And when we have finished the race, my Father will tell about his children and how they pushed others to keep going, taught them never to quit, and that you can be more than you ever believed you could be.
The race we are in is long, there are many traps, pitfalls, and snares. And rarely are things as they seem to be. We have an enemy willing to stop at nothing to get us to quit and to give up. He tells us we’ve fallen to far or too many times or that we can’t do it. The mountain is too high, we are too weak, the enemy is too powerful. Keep going, don’t quit, with God all things are possible. Rescue the wounded, heal the sick, speak the truth, carry one another’s burdens, forgive as you have been forgiven, slay the giant, take possession of what has been given you, finish the race…
Do I know 100% in my heart that I can be content in Jesus and nothing else? If I don’t finish I’ll never know. Can I trust him when all seems hopeless? If I quit I’ll never find out. Thank you for telling me what I need to hear, I will keep going…
*** Relevant Scripture Below…
Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.
(1Co 9:24-27)
As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
(2Ti 4:5-8)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.
(Heb 12:1-13)
for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.
(Pro 24:16)
Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
(Mat 18:21-22)
You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?
(Gal 5:7)
Finish the Race, the best is yet to come…
Michael
